I am going to start evaluating 3 things. Each of which are listed in the title. I'll begin with what is weighing on me most heavily today.
I've really been thinking a lot lately on where we are as the Collins four. How are our kids developing? How are we doing as parents? I find myself focusing a lot on Abram. Evelyn is happy and other than the allergies from the newly found congested air of the Low Country she is healthy.
Abram is so smart. He was ahead of his classmates all year from what I gathered at my parent teacher meeting. Not socially of course because this was really his first time since birth to be in a regular social environment. He had to work hard and still does on sharing.
He sleeps in his own bed, and for the most part eats okay foods. He loves candies and baked goods, but he likes fruits and takes his vitamin. We don't have any problems behaviorally. This kid takes himself to time out when asked to do so. I know I let myself get exhausted with him at times, but seriously he is a GREAT kid. This is not to toot my own horn, because I'm still very much a beginner mom. In finding himself and developing his own unique personality I am super pleased to see that he truly is and desires to be sweet and kind. He is wonderful with Evelyn and cares for her emotional needs often.
Why then do I feel that something is missing? Like I'm working hard on developing things I've read are "good for him developmentally", but I'm somehow missing a bigger picture.
It started about 6 moths ago when we moved here. I began to feel an overwhelming urge to spend more cuddle time with both of my kids, but Abram in particular as I always hold Evelyn already. I started to question if there might be a time when co-sleeping with Abram might be beneficial for him in his need to have his "Love Languages" met. If I am in my room aching to hold him, how does he feel in his bed after hearing me say "no son you need to sleep in your own bed."?
Am I missing out on something wonderful that I only have a precious few years to share with my son? I'm not saying I want to move him into our bedroom, but maybe implement Saturday night slumber parties.
So far I am pondering several things that could fall in question as to whether they matter or not. I plan to pray on each subject until I feel let in any one direction on each particular matter. So far though I'm feeling that forcing my child to sleep in his own bed every single night of his so that he develops into a well rounded secure adult isn't going to make much difference. He has already learned the skill. He is confident in his room. One night a week should be the thing that matters and not what may or may not happen in the extremely distant future. The simplest fact is that I deeply love my son. I want him to KNOW that!
