Willing To Be Intentional

Here is my motivation. I bet you'll think I'm about to give the "tithe" sermon. I assure you, I am not! 

Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." 

The Bible repeats a lot. As I'm sitting in my son's floor asking him for the 100th time to please be still so we can get dressed for bed, I'm reminded of all of the biblical repetition and can't help but feel a bit silly. The constant repeating of instruction to my son is done in the hopes that at some point those things will soak in. 

This particular verse is on my mind this week for so many reasons. It all started when I began thinking again about my school plans for my little ones. I was reading a favorite blog of mine and the writer was discussing being intentional when dividing her time between her children. She has a few more than me. (Try 8 more than me.) It always amazes me how the simplest of ideas can really open a door to new thinking and understanding.

My mother and I were recently in a discussion about changes that people need to make in their own respective lives. We concluded what we've both known and most people also realize. Any one person will only do what THEY want to do in any one situation. If Suzy Q needs to forgive someone, she only will when she chooses to do it. If Jane Doe needs to lose weight, it's only going to happen when she decides. So my question is how does it come to that point? The point of choosing and wanting and moving forward. 

There have been things about me in my life that I have found myself begging God to change. I don't want to be lazy in any aspect of life. Okay God PLEASE make me more motivated. I want great relationships with people. Okay God help me invest the time. I want to do the best I can by my children in regards to their raising and education. Okay God send me someone who can teach me all about these things and somehow give me the ability to do it all. 

Praying is all well and good, and I believe it is the first thing one who is looking for a change should do as they approach it. What happens though, when said desired change doesn't happen? Was God's answer "no", or did we miss the boat somewhere? 

It hit me today that the answer may lie in this verse. Where my treasure is, there my heart will be also. Ever heard that saying: "Don't put all of your eggs into one basket."? I feel like it can be applied to this verse. I know there are people who don't seem to want to do anything well, but I also believe there are people who want to do everything well. I'm in the latter group, and I'm always baffled by women that I meet who seem to do it ALL well. I know they are not perfect and that their struggles come just like mine, but it seems they are sailing through things that I still struggle with on a daily basis.

I've decided to really search out my heart. To decide what my goals are in my faith and my position in life, and that the only way to do any of it willingly will be to place my treasure there. I'm only going to want to clean my home if I place a bit of my treasure in my husband's heart. I will want to care for his needs from me as his wife if he holds a bit of my treasure. I will place a bit of my treasure in my children. I'm only going to find the ability to care for them the way I feel called to if I manage to make it a treasure. I'm going to put a bit into my relationships, and I'm going to put all of the control of those things into God's hands to that ultimately all of my treasures will lead my heart to a closer relationship with him where I'm willingly allowing him to guide me in the goals that I have. 

No more crutches for this girl. I'm intentionally willing! Or at least willing to give it my best shot and pick myself up when I forget for a minute! 

Place your treasures carefully!

Courtney

Time to think about giving MORE!

Let me just start out by saying that I probably couldn't find more than one "friend" on my Facebook that is going to understand where I'm coming from.

It has been on me for a while. Maybe since before the birth of my first child. I feel like...wait for it....HOME SCHOOLING...gasp!!...might be right for our family. There are of course pros and cons, and I'm so very aware of both. Lets get the negatives out of the way first so we can move on to the positive and stay there. Hopefully. :) 

I watched a little video the other day on one of my fav. blogs: Storing Up Treasures ,  and I found myself relating with the "Home School Mom". Especially when the "normal mom" asks if "not normal mom" is worried her kids will be "different" and she replies, "I hope so". That is EXACTLY how I feel. I seriously hope that my children will make it through their lives and develop a sense of self that is Christ filled and not geared so much in the directions of peer pressuring.

I'm not completely patient. I was NOT a star student. I have "some" college, and I do not speak more than a few words of any foreign language. I'm not a teacher by trade, and I was not home schooled. Well not in the traditional sense anyway. From all of my time spent in the world and all of the experiences up until now, I do worry for my kids. I worry that my humanity will give in and I will fear that they will be "different". I HOPE that my faith will give way to trust that my kids will definitely be "different".

I saw a quote recently that I can't find anymore, but it said something like: "Never trust any one person, even family, about everything all of the time. Only trust God for everything all of the time." Even my family can accidentally, and especially in relation to my children and their needs, put their own desires or knowledge before that of the Lord when guiding me. 

I think we all know that the road less traveled, the one that is scary and full of mulligans is usually the one most worth while.

Okay so moving forward. I truly believe that raising my children is the single most important thing I am commissioned to do at this time in my and their lives. I truly desire for them to search out in their lives, ways that they can be the hands and feet of Christ. I want them to understand that they only get one chance to live life according to His plan and for His glory. I do feel repetitively called to home school my children. The part I am most confused about is where to begin. 

My children and I have developed an "un-routine". My son (3) does go to a Mother's Day Out program 2 days a week where they are working on letters and numbers, but mostly singing and social play. I don't necessarily feel like that is something I want to stop, but rather I'd like to try getting a structured, learning promoting schedule at home.I want them to feel like our home is a place where they can trust what they learn, and feel excited to grow in their book and life knowledge. What I don't want is for my son to get into school and find out about the birds and the bees in 1st grade like I did. I don't want him to be too distracted with the actions of others to figure out who he is. I don't want him to be misdiagnosed with a disorder because he is social.(me) I want him to be stimulated at his level so that he wants to do the work and learn instead of floating through.(older brother) I don't want him to be the nice and quiet kid who just wants to be treated kindly, but instead gets bullied constantly.(middle brother), and I don't want all of his potential for following God's plan for him to be side tracked by what ALL of his "friends" are doing. I don't want him to "need" a girlfriend to be cool, or to have to make a ball team to fit in. I certainly don't want him to fail at something and instead of trying harder...go with the kids who don't care.

Not all of my feelings are fear based, but for now I am not educated enough on all things home school. Time to begin some deep research and find some more friends who can be an encouragement.

I had a client who'd high school aged daughter was getting in with the wrong crowd. The woman pulled her daughter out of high school and quit her job to educate her at home and take up the responsibility that was hers. Her daughter's well being was more important than money or social acceptance. I am definitely that passionate about my job as a mother. 

Do you home educate? Have you ever considered it? Are you afraid you'll fail? Have you ever considered it only temporarily to form a solid foundation for your child that they can take with them to school when the time comes? Do you know anyone who was home schooled who wishes they were not. What about Christian Home Schooling? Does that make a difference on the level of success? (I think it does, but I'm asking you.)

Courtney