Nine days later here I am. It is the first time that I have had true free time.
In the past nine days I have been to/done the following:
picked up the class guinea pig for a four day stay at our house
potty trained my toddler (This includes cleaning up TONS of messes. Even "duce-a-rooski" on my carpet)
been to the pediatrician and the emergency room
provided snacks for the preschool class
cleaned up more duce-a-rooski
I am exhausted. I can't imagine if I had kept a tab on how many times i "accidentally" raised my voice, but I can say it is less and less each day. Its amazing how actively pursuing a lifestyle change can happen through simple repetition. Or maybe its easier because I call my husband out when he raises his voice, so my natural competitive nature won't let me yell because I have to WIN! lol
I have seen positive changes in both myself, my marriage, and my relationship with my children in the past weeks. Abram seems to be more willing to please and obey the rules. Evelyn is her normal amazing self, but is taking a bottle now for the first time and seeming to love it. She is sleeping which must mean she is more secure feeling.
God has blessed me with the sunshine which is greatly helping me reduce the amount of television I watch.
I'm still not doing that great with the willingness to get up when I'm tired, but then again I knew it would be the doozy. One thing or another is bound to happen. Either I will learn or she will sleep. Sometimes I'd love to see God's playbook, but where is the fun in that, right?
I can say that the change in my willing attitude has seemingly made my husband much less worried about what I'm doing. There are dishes out today, but he hasn't seemed to notice. There is laundry, but its out of sight in the basket, and he hasn't mentioned it. We're enjoying things as a family. I guess I am a more integral part of our happiness as a family than I realized. Daddy brings home the bacon, but it only nourishes the body if momma cooks it. Is that a gem or what? I bet I could sell that on a poster in Pigeon Creek, Alabama. (If you're lost on Pigeon Creek *Can't ride two horses with one *** sugar bean* probably won't mean a thing to you.) Is it okay if I use stars instead of the curse since I can't say the curse? Makes me think of Walk the Line when Jerry Lee is talking about the forbidden fruit... "He said don't touch it. Don't think about touching it. Don't sing about thinkin' about touchin' it. Don't TOUCH IT." How will I ever get curse words out of my head when they are embedded in my very favorite all time movie lines??
I'm rambling. I know. All in all a fantastic week on the Lent front at my house. Funny that I fell off the blog wagon right after I posted about not falling off!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Nothing like cleaning when you're angry after zero sleep!
For reasons I won't name I was angry this morning. My tolerance bucket was down to nothing and my husband kicked it over. I think if one can find a silver lining on a bad start, then it sort of trumps the bad. Am I right?
So I cleaned.
I did laundry including putting away kids clothes and even going through and ridding the closets of things that are too small. I straightened every room in the house. It was productive. The anger gave me the energy to get my rear in gear and eliminate some of the stress lingering in the house. All of which was done "willingly" but not so much with a gracious heart. Dinner however, was completely out of love. It may not have been the best gourmet meal in town, but I also cleaned up the mess so hopefully that added to the way it digested for my husband.
I need to take a step back to last night before I go. It was terrible. Evelyn was up about 8 times from the time we laid her down. My heart wasn't in it at all. I have figured out that the giving in the night time will be my greatest obstacle. Tonight before I go to sleep I will pray for mercy. I will pray not only that I learn to give willingly through Evelyn's long nights, but that God will give me the peace and the desire to do it instead of me trying to find the patience on my own. I'm a human woman who loves her sleep. I'd never be able to do it on my own.
I think my Lent will extend past Easter. It might take me more than 40 days and nights to get this "willing" thing down.
So I cleaned.
I did laundry including putting away kids clothes and even going through and ridding the closets of things that are too small. I straightened every room in the house. It was productive. The anger gave me the energy to get my rear in gear and eliminate some of the stress lingering in the house. All of which was done "willingly" but not so much with a gracious heart. Dinner however, was completely out of love. It may not have been the best gourmet meal in town, but I also cleaned up the mess so hopefully that added to the way it digested for my husband.
I need to take a step back to last night before I go. It was terrible. Evelyn was up about 8 times from the time we laid her down. My heart wasn't in it at all. I have figured out that the giving in the night time will be my greatest obstacle. Tonight before I go to sleep I will pray for mercy. I will pray not only that I learn to give willingly through Evelyn's long nights, but that God will give me the peace and the desire to do it instead of me trying to find the patience on my own. I'm a human woman who loves her sleep. I'd never be able to do it on my own.
I think my Lent will extend past Easter. It might take me more than 40 days and nights to get this "willing" thing down.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
I'm not a fan of trying something for a few days only to quit cold turkey!
I almost didn't post tonight. Today was completely uneventful. Evelyn's teeth were killing her so she was fussy per the norm over the last few days, but other than that today was calm. We woke, we napped, and put the kids to bed. In between we had meals, and played a lot.
I decided to post simply because I feared that if I missed today I'd miss tomorrow. That isn't quite what I had in mind for this blog. Also I think it would represent a certain level if disrespect for what I'm trying to accomplish. I am not working on denying myself willingly for myself. I'm doing it out of adoration and respect for Jesus Christ and what his sacrifice means in my life and my future. I can't imagine what this world would be if God had hung in there with us for a few days and then became complacent.
Since today was a good effort on my Lent, I'll just close my evening with a word of thanksgiving. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be alive, to share this life with my husband and our beautiful kids, and to have the chance to attempt to do all of this in a way that might be pleasing to the Lord. I'm thankful that as the challenges of this coming week expose my weaknesses, I can find comfort in knowing that I am already forgiven for my failures.
I decided to post simply because I feared that if I missed today I'd miss tomorrow. That isn't quite what I had in mind for this blog. Also I think it would represent a certain level if disrespect for what I'm trying to accomplish. I am not working on denying myself willingly for myself. I'm doing it out of adoration and respect for Jesus Christ and what his sacrifice means in my life and my future. I can't imagine what this world would be if God had hung in there with us for a few days and then became complacent.
Since today was a good effort on my Lent, I'll just close my evening with a word of thanksgiving. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be alive, to share this life with my husband and our beautiful kids, and to have the chance to attempt to do all of this in a way that might be pleasing to the Lord. I'm thankful that as the challenges of this coming week expose my weaknesses, I can find comfort in knowing that I am already forgiven for my failures.
Friday, March 5, 2010
On a day when it all came easily...
Today was a great day though it may not have seemed that way on paper. We are potty training. For most parents those are hard days peppered with small and large victories, but not usually considered "good" days. Those are the days imperative to get to a string of good diaper free days. For us it was a wonderful potty training day. Not a single underwear change from about 10a.m. on. I don't care who you are, that is exciting!
Another good part of my day was our sick appointment at the pediatrician. Yes I said "good" and "sick appointment" in the same sentence. My 2 year old has Croup and I was sent home with medicine for my baby girl because it is highly likely that she will get it also. I'm happy about the visit though because my sweet little boy when to the doctor in his underwear and didn't even bat an eye! He behaved amazingly for me and our awesome doctor. He was sweet and funny and loving all day long. Also Croup is easily fixed unlike all of the other possible issues his nasty cough could have been indicating.
I baked today. That is always a stress point because I usually make a huge mess and... Yes! You guessed it... leave it in the sink. I baked and didn't leave a single dirty dish!
My husband left me for about 3 hours with a teething baby and a potty training toddler and I found the time to play with both of my children never thinking of the other things I could have been doing, and I straightened up the house a bit.
Today God blessed me with a giving heart. I felt willing. I felt motivated. I hope I feel this way again tomorrow!
With no major fails today I guess now I need 20 more days like this one to make it a habit! Ha! I'm going to need to pray about it more I think!
Another good part of my day was our sick appointment at the pediatrician. Yes I said "good" and "sick appointment" in the same sentence. My 2 year old has Croup and I was sent home with medicine for my baby girl because it is highly likely that she will get it also. I'm happy about the visit though because my sweet little boy when to the doctor in his underwear and didn't even bat an eye! He behaved amazingly for me and our awesome doctor. He was sweet and funny and loving all day long. Also Croup is easily fixed unlike all of the other possible issues his nasty cough could have been indicating.
I baked today. That is always a stress point because I usually make a huge mess and... Yes! You guessed it... leave it in the sink. I baked and didn't leave a single dirty dish!
My husband left me for about 3 hours with a teething baby and a potty training toddler and I found the time to play with both of my children never thinking of the other things I could have been doing, and I straightened up the house a bit.
Today God blessed me with a giving heart. I felt willing. I felt motivated. I hope I feel this way again tomorrow!
With no major fails today I guess now I need 20 more days like this one to make it a habit! Ha! I'm going to need to pray about it more I think!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
These children can't belong to me....tales of a sleep deprived woman.
I LOVE sleep! I super love it when I'm extra tired and that moment comes when my head hits the pillow. I love to wake up feeling fully rested. At least I think I do. I have not risen fully rested in 7 months. Pregnancy wasn't wonderful, but I did occasionally get awesome sleep. For the past seven months it has been 1 hour here 3 hours there and it never fails that the moment I hit deep sleep the baby cries. My loving husband does get up faithfully in the mornings with BOTH children and lets me sleep until I'm ready to wake up or around 10:30. Whichever comes first. That means I am not getting on average 3 to 5 hours of nearly uninterrupted sleep. It would be seamless if the neighbor's dogs didn't bark, the geese didn't yell, and the kid across the street didn't unfailingly get his mother's key chain and set off her car alarm at 8:15.
This brings me to my kids. Mostly Evelyn. I'll give Abram credit where it is due. He is an excellent sleeper. His problem is with "going" to sleep, but we'll get there in due time. Back to Evelyn. She has NEVER been a sleeper since birth. She pretended to be for about 3 weeks in October when I was visiting my mother, but she is just not as into it as the rest of the Collins household. She is up making some sort of noise be it crying or other at least 5 times a night. 5 TIMES! No wonder I can't stay healthy so says Dr. Oz. Uninterrupted sleep is crucial to good healthy. Still yet this is not really the largest problem at hand.
Since I am working on the "willingly" attitude I have been "okay" with the noise/getting up 3-5 times a night. Its what happens before bed that is driving me crazy and pushing me over the edge of sanity. Cut back to the toddler.
We have always had a great routine with Abram, or so I thought. Bath, book, prayer, songs, bed. Well I don't know how much you know about terrible two's, but they are truly terrible. Having a short stack that is extra intelligent and verbal trying to make up his own mind about EVERYTHING is a struggle. Don't ever pray for God to give you patience because he may send you a 2 year old to teach you in that area. As soon as we even mention bed it is freak out mode major. WHY? Its the same thing every night. I thought children thrived on routine? He was fine until we moved here. Now its not only a chore to get him up the stairs, in his pajamas, teeth brushed, still for the book and prayer, and in his bed, but he doesn't go to sleep for most nights at least an hour after we lay him down.
When focusing on the questions from yesterday I realized bedtime is a major stress, and it is one of the main times when I lose my soft voice, patient attitude with him. I find myself trying every trick in the book. First I'm sweet, but he's not having it. Then I try to talk about what the next day holds for us hoping to distract him, or bribe him sort of to get ready for bed. Next we move on to threats of time out. BOO. That takes it to a negative level. Bedtime is a WONDERFUL thing. Why doesn't my child understand that?
I guess its time to do some creative parent reading and figure out if there is even a solution. A way to get my toddler into a more comfortable place with his bedtime routine. Until then I guess I will be thanking God for giving me SO MANY opportunities to practice my patience. At least if I slip up I can blame it on lack of sleep right?
This brings me to my kids. Mostly Evelyn. I'll give Abram credit where it is due. He is an excellent sleeper. His problem is with "going" to sleep, but we'll get there in due time. Back to Evelyn. She has NEVER been a sleeper since birth. She pretended to be for about 3 weeks in October when I was visiting my mother, but she is just not as into it as the rest of the Collins household. She is up making some sort of noise be it crying or other at least 5 times a night. 5 TIMES! No wonder I can't stay healthy so says Dr. Oz. Uninterrupted sleep is crucial to good healthy. Still yet this is not really the largest problem at hand.
Since I am working on the "willingly" attitude I have been "okay" with the noise/getting up 3-5 times a night. Its what happens before bed that is driving me crazy and pushing me over the edge of sanity. Cut back to the toddler.
We have always had a great routine with Abram, or so I thought. Bath, book, prayer, songs, bed. Well I don't know how much you know about terrible two's, but they are truly terrible. Having a short stack that is extra intelligent and verbal trying to make up his own mind about EVERYTHING is a struggle. Don't ever pray for God to give you patience because he may send you a 2 year old to teach you in that area. As soon as we even mention bed it is freak out mode major. WHY? Its the same thing every night. I thought children thrived on routine? He was fine until we moved here. Now its not only a chore to get him up the stairs, in his pajamas, teeth brushed, still for the book and prayer, and in his bed, but he doesn't go to sleep for most nights at least an hour after we lay him down.
When focusing on the questions from yesterday I realized bedtime is a major stress, and it is one of the main times when I lose my soft voice, patient attitude with him. I find myself trying every trick in the book. First I'm sweet, but he's not having it. Then I try to talk about what the next day holds for us hoping to distract him, or bribe him sort of to get ready for bed. Next we move on to threats of time out. BOO. That takes it to a negative level. Bedtime is a WONDERFUL thing. Why doesn't my child understand that?
I guess its time to do some creative parent reading and figure out if there is even a solution. A way to get my toddler into a more comfortable place with his bedtime routine. Until then I guess I will be thanking God for giving me SO MANY opportunities to practice my patience. At least if I slip up I can blame it on lack of sleep right?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I "was" willing. How far can one woman be pushed?
I was willing. I was willing right up until my daughter began to cry only an hour after I had fallen asleep. I needed Brad. Luckily for all parties involved he was much more willing that Mommy. All it took was a pacifier, but I was almost drugged feeling having just dozed off. Not the perfect way to start off my selfless giving. My darling girl woke again at two. I got up, but I think it took me a minute or two to find my willing gracious heart. She needed Tylenol for her impending tooth. Number three is on its way, and it is having its way with our household during sleeping hours. At five I was so pleasantly surprised to have gotten three hours of sleep that I nearly jumped out of bed to go and feed her. "Willing" is my middle - no FIRST name when I've had sleep! She was right back to sleep UNTIL 6 when of course the nasty tooth monster invaded her beautiful rest. More tylenol and she was off in dream land until 8:15 when she woke happily. Will work harder on myself during the nighttime hours. I will pray that I can willingly wake when needed with a gracious and thankful heart. I will repeat that prayer until I get it, or until we sleep through the night. Any bets on which comes first???
I was on a roll with my language. Soft sweet voice. Careful about my words. That is until my loving husband decided to blow up our bathroom RIGHT when I had just entered the shower. Nothing like a steamy hot STINKY bathroom peppered with Fabreeze to help me feel clean and refreshed after my shower. *Four letter word slip* oops. It wasn't in anger, but rather in a teasing way. The "S" word, which was likely most everyone's first curse word aside from H.E. double hockey sticks! lol! (I have not said that since I was 8 or so. The "hockey sticks" part. I say the real word too often cause I'm bad so watch out!!) NOT a good start on that front. Will work harder. Will focus on watching my mouth! I think the biggest struggle is the willingly part. I could totally deprive myself of that habit. I don't dare utter a nasty word in front of my grandmother. I can focus on making it a priority and not because I have to, but because I want to eliminate it. It doesn't help me any and certainly doesn't make me sound educated.
This brings me to the dishes. It started out rocky. I had my heaping bowl of captain crunch and set it on the counter, but within a few minutes I noticed it. I beat Brad to cleaning it up so success was mine! Still a bit late though, and he really prefers I do it when I'm finished with the bowl. I made up for that the rest of the day. I even cleaned for him as he went while he was making our delicious buttery garlic turkey burgers for dinner! Excellent finish on that effort today if I do say so myself. I did clean willingly most of the day, except during one part when I had asked Brad to start dinner. I was cleaning and he was on his computer. At that moment my heart wasn't in it, but I recovered.
Let me just be clear that this Blog is not to toot my own horn on my successes. I needed a way to hold myself accountable. So far its working.
Lastly I read and article that helped me with my "kind words, soft voice, calm attitude" towards Abram situation. Here is the link: http://health.yahoo.com/featured/84/two-simple-ways-to-be-a-happier-parent/
In this article the writer poses two questions. 1. When are you and your children happiest together? 2. When are you most unhappy or stressed? Don't quote my wording. I discovered that for us we are happiest during family play time, and most stressed when trying to get dressed to leave and when trying to get ready for bed. I plan on taking a deeper look at why those times are so difficult and prepare all of us better for them in an effort to reduce the stress.
"They" say it takes 21 times to makes something a habbit. Well in 20 days I hope I can title a post "I AM Willing" the majority of the time. Right now I teeter between was, am, and will be.
I was on a roll with my language. Soft sweet voice. Careful about my words. That is until my loving husband decided to blow up our bathroom RIGHT when I had just entered the shower. Nothing like a steamy hot STINKY bathroom peppered with Fabreeze to help me feel clean and refreshed after my shower. *Four letter word slip* oops. It wasn't in anger, but rather in a teasing way. The "S" word, which was likely most everyone's first curse word aside from H.E. double hockey sticks! lol! (I have not said that since I was 8 or so. The "hockey sticks" part. I say the real word too often cause I'm bad so watch out!!) NOT a good start on that front. Will work harder. Will focus on watching my mouth! I think the biggest struggle is the willingly part. I could totally deprive myself of that habit. I don't dare utter a nasty word in front of my grandmother. I can focus on making it a priority and not because I have to, but because I want to eliminate it. It doesn't help me any and certainly doesn't make me sound educated.
This brings me to the dishes. It started out rocky. I had my heaping bowl of captain crunch and set it on the counter, but within a few minutes I noticed it. I beat Brad to cleaning it up so success was mine! Still a bit late though, and he really prefers I do it when I'm finished with the bowl. I made up for that the rest of the day. I even cleaned for him as he went while he was making our delicious buttery garlic turkey burgers for dinner! Excellent finish on that effort today if I do say so myself. I did clean willingly most of the day, except during one part when I had asked Brad to start dinner. I was cleaning and he was on his computer. At that moment my heart wasn't in it, but I recovered.
Let me just be clear that this Blog is not to toot my own horn on my successes. I needed a way to hold myself accountable. So far its working.
Lastly I read and article that helped me with my "kind words, soft voice, calm attitude" towards Abram situation. Here is the link: http://health.yahoo.com/featured/84/two-simple-ways-to-be-a-happier-parent/
In this article the writer poses two questions. 1. When are you and your children happiest together? 2. When are you most unhappy or stressed? Don't quote my wording. I discovered that for us we are happiest during family play time, and most stressed when trying to get dressed to leave and when trying to get ready for bed. I plan on taking a deeper look at why those times are so difficult and prepare all of us better for them in an effort to reduce the stress.
"They" say it takes 21 times to makes something a habbit. Well in 20 days I hope I can title a post "I AM Willing" the majority of the time. Right now I teeter between was, am, and will be.
Trying to win a give away from Sassy Babies Utah - Do you want to win?
Crystal Guti 3/8/2010 GIVEAWAY Petunia Pickle Bottom CAKE Clutch~ Yes we are AWESOME :)
{picture will follow}
PLEASE READ:
You get a bonus entry this week by referring a friend (a new one this week that has never been referred).
1) You can post your second entry along with the person that entered because of you! You MUST say who entered because of you.
OR
2) Post this giveaway on your blog - you MUST post a link to your blog.
As always, everyone is eligible however you must be a member of Sassy Babies to win. Winner is selected by Random.org Good Luck!
This giveaway ends 3/8/2010
Winner will be posted on the last post 3/9/10 winner MUST contact us within 3 business days or another winner will be selected.
If winner lives outside Utah they are responsible for shipping.
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=12809&post=53825&uid=18241594979#post53825
{picture will follow}
PLEASE READ:
You get a bonus entry this week by referring a friend (a new one this week that has never been referred).
1) You can post your second entry along with the person that entered because of you! You MUST say who entered because of you.
OR
2) Post this giveaway on your blog - you MUST post a link to your blog.
As always, everyone is eligible however you must be a member of Sassy Babies to win. Winner is selected by Random.org Good Luck!
This giveaway ends 3/8/2010
Winner will be posted on the last post 3/9/10 winner MUST contact us within 3 business days or another winner will be selected.
If winner lives outside Utah they are responsible for shipping.
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=12809&post=53825&uid=18241594979#post53825
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 1 - Ash Wednesday I'm Late!
Every year as long as I can remember I've "given up" something "willingly" for Lent. I can't think of a single year that I remembered to deny myself the full time. Mostly I'd give up chocolate or the occasional 4 letter word. Okay more than occasional some years. Who am I kidding?
This year something was definitely different. I didn't want to give up something insignificant. I wanted to understand what it meant to deny myself something and to grasp more fully the purpose of "Giving up for Lent".
Brad and I discussed a few things but didn't really nail anything down. Frustrating. I have made a positive effort the last 2 weeks to watch my language for words I wouldn't want Abram repeating. I.e. "Stupid", "dumb", "Hate". I've tried to lower my voice when I am angry or frustrated instead of raising it and loosing my cool.
It wasn't until this morning at our play date that it hit me what I had been trying to say and do, but just couldn't quite say it right.
Being a Mommy there are TONS of things I can't have or do. I deny myself constantly. No : traveling at the drop of a hat, no late night dinners, no alcohol, no long walks with my husband on a whim without the kids. Until recently I couldn't eat a multitude of things as they would upset Evelyn's little tummy. Most importantly to me I have given up precious uninterrupted much needed SLEEP!!! I have not had a full night's sleep in exactly 16 months. Not during pregnancy because as you other mommies know, the bladder calls at night and often. Not since Evelyn was born because God blessed me with the amazing blessing of being able to nurse her, and she wakes in the night at least once for that even now at 7 months. My friend said it perfectly today when she said: "I can't give up one more thing!" I can't give up one more thing and keep my sanity, and I don't think Brad can either. She told me she had decided to practice giving up all of the things she HAS to give up more willingly.
So here I am. For 40 days and 40 nights (give 2 weeks as I'm Late for actual Ash Wed.), and I do hope for the rest of my life, I plan to give of myself to my husband, kids, family, friends, church, community, and my God WILLINGLY! I will work at not feeling sorry for myself when I am groggy at 5 a.m. and Evelyn wants to start her day. I will not do things for my husband because I "have" to, but I will learn to "want" to. This will be particularly hard in matters of the kitchen sink. See Bradley for details if you must.
Here is my list to live by for Lent season and beyond!:
speak patiently and quietly
be an example of encouragement and tolerance
wake every time my children need me without feeling like I deserve sleep. I did NOT deserve such precious gifts as my children, but God trusted me with their care. Surely I can get up in the night with a gracious heart for a few more months right?
not loose my cool when my SMART 2 yr old acts.....like a 2 yr old!
make lunches, give baths, sing 100 bedtime songs after 1000 stories with a smile on my face, and never complain of being tired
Play with my son and daughter on the floor IN the playroom without that nagging feeling that I need to be doing housework, or checking my computer, etc. etc. etc.
Put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher or wash them as soon as I'm done with them instead of putting them in the sink for a few hours. It drives the man crazy, and I love him so I will give the extra few seconds to clean up my mess willingly on his time frame instead of my own.
I will blog my way through each day as it presents trials that will no doubt knock me off track, and chronicle each way that God pushes me through and blesses my efforts with a new more gracious and willing ME!
This year something was definitely different. I didn't want to give up something insignificant. I wanted to understand what it meant to deny myself something and to grasp more fully the purpose of "Giving up for Lent".
Brad and I discussed a few things but didn't really nail anything down. Frustrating. I have made a positive effort the last 2 weeks to watch my language for words I wouldn't want Abram repeating. I.e. "Stupid", "dumb", "Hate". I've tried to lower my voice when I am angry or frustrated instead of raising it and loosing my cool.
It wasn't until this morning at our play date that it hit me what I had been trying to say and do, but just couldn't quite say it right.
Being a Mommy there are TONS of things I can't have or do. I deny myself constantly. No : traveling at the drop of a hat, no late night dinners, no alcohol, no long walks with my husband on a whim without the kids. Until recently I couldn't eat a multitude of things as they would upset Evelyn's little tummy. Most importantly to me I have given up precious uninterrupted much needed SLEEP!!! I have not had a full night's sleep in exactly 16 months. Not during pregnancy because as you other mommies know, the bladder calls at night and often. Not since Evelyn was born because God blessed me with the amazing blessing of being able to nurse her, and she wakes in the night at least once for that even now at 7 months. My friend said it perfectly today when she said: "I can't give up one more thing!" I can't give up one more thing and keep my sanity, and I don't think Brad can either. She told me she had decided to practice giving up all of the things she HAS to give up more willingly.
So here I am. For 40 days and 40 nights (give 2 weeks as I'm Late for actual Ash Wed.), and I do hope for the rest of my life, I plan to give of myself to my husband, kids, family, friends, church, community, and my God WILLINGLY! I will work at not feeling sorry for myself when I am groggy at 5 a.m. and Evelyn wants to start her day. I will not do things for my husband because I "have" to, but I will learn to "want" to. This will be particularly hard in matters of the kitchen sink. See Bradley for details if you must.
Here is my list to live by for Lent season and beyond!:
speak patiently and quietly
be an example of encouragement and tolerance
wake every time my children need me without feeling like I deserve sleep. I did NOT deserve such precious gifts as my children, but God trusted me with their care. Surely I can get up in the night with a gracious heart for a few more months right?
not loose my cool when my SMART 2 yr old acts.....like a 2 yr old!
make lunches, give baths, sing 100 bedtime songs after 1000 stories with a smile on my face, and never complain of being tired
Play with my son and daughter on the floor IN the playroom without that nagging feeling that I need to be doing housework, or checking my computer, etc. etc. etc.
Put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher or wash them as soon as I'm done with them instead of putting them in the sink for a few hours. It drives the man crazy, and I love him so I will give the extra few seconds to clean up my mess willingly on his time frame instead of my own.
I will blog my way through each day as it presents trials that will no doubt knock me off track, and chronicle each way that God pushes me through and blesses my efforts with a new more gracious and willing ME!
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